Worst product design EVER!

OK, not the worst ever, but the one which is currently annoying me: screw-top beer bottles. You know the ones, which look like traditional crown caps but actually screw off.

You can see why someone thought they were a good innovation; they look the same (which is important, because what kind of girlie-man drinks beer from bottles with the same type of closure as a bottle of coke?) while being more convenient: no need for a bottle-opener. But ‘looks like a crown cap’ translates as ‘authentic serrated metal edge’. They’re like little blunt circular saws. If a piece of packaging is painful to open, there’s something wrong with it. Come on people, this isn’t fucking rocket science. I’m looking at you, Fentiman’s Ginger Beer.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Worse yet, homebrewers can’t re-use them. And you can’t impress chicks by opening them with your teeth.

  2. Mm, homebrew. I did that for a bit at university. It was fun, though the result wouldn’t have won any prizes.

    Having once split a door jamb while trying to use it to open a beer bottle, I’m not anxious to do the same to my teeth. But then I am pretty clearly a girlie-man.

  3. I knew a guy once who could open a bottle of beer with his eye socket: He’d just stick the cap under his eyebrow, look fierce, turn, and off it would pop. I guess that probably secured his masculine identity in perpetuity.

    I can open a bottle of beer with a lighter, but that’s the best I can do.

    — shadygrove
    girlie girls prefer girlie men anyway

  4. “I knew a guy once who could open a bottle of beer with his eye socket”

    eeeeeeww.

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