There’s something alive in the chimney. Which is mildly creepy. I just hope to god it manages not to die up there. On the subject of which:
Q. What goes ‘shriek shriek bonk’?
A. A parakeet flying into a window pane.
Which I heard happen yesterday, but as there wasn’t a stunned parakeet lying outside the house afterwards I assume it managed to escape without too much more than a headache to show for it.