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Muslim Miss England

England is sending our first Muslim competitor to Miss World – the really rather attractive Hammasa Kohistani, whose family came to the UK as refugees from Afghanistan. Since her presence in the competition is two fingers up to the Taleban and religious nutjobs generally, I hope she does well. But I’m still slightly disappointed we’re not going to be represented by Miss Bolton, because apart from the fact that she’s also very attractive, she has the fabulous name of Peace Blessing Oybio. So many parents would have chickened out and called her either Peace OR Blessing, but thankfully the Oybios hold themselves to higher standards.

I’m glad to see that Miss England is more attractive than Misses Scotland, Wales, Ireland or Northern Ireland. Miss Wales particularly looks like a moody cow. Though that may be the photographer’s fault.

No entrant from Iran this year, I notice.

2 replies on “Muslim Miss England”

Only for you, Harry, would I ever be clicking on beauty pageant contestant bios. Did you actually read them? None of the British contestants can write a paragraph about themselves in English, apparently. (Can you pass A-levels in English literature without knowing what a semicolon is for?)

The only one remotely pretty enough that I would ever forgive you for spending five minutes chatting with her over a beer is Peace Blessing. She made me think of the demotivator poster on beauty. You turn out looking like that, we’ll forgive you for getting your meaning in life from Anthony Robbins.

The writing on the Miss England site is so consistently awful that I think it might be the fault of whoever runs the site. Either that or they decided to post them completely unedited as a piece of social satire.

“I HAVE WORKED IN THEATRE FROMA VERY YOUNG AGE I GET A TREMENDOUS ENJOYMENT FROM BEIN ON THE STAGE FROM DANCING -FASHION SHOWS I JUST LOVE BEING UP THERE.”

I get the feeling that the beauty-contest business is a bit short of prestige, publicity and money these days. When the shops are full of glossy lad’s mags covered in pictures of glamour models with their tits out, the Miss England contest rather loses its function.

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